Feeling a little inadequate today. Anyone else ever have those days? I realize I probably wouldn’t feel this way if I wasn’t looking at everyone else’s highlight reel, or reading a nonstop stream of posts on Facebook crapping on homeschool right now, or seeing how much of a failure I am because I have no degree or successful business. Then I think about how many different things I’m feeling bad about, and realize I can’t do it all. I can do my best, and that is enough.
I love homeschooling my kids. They are smart, kind, well behaved, and friendly. I use curriculum that tells me what to teach, when to teach it, and how to teach it. I think there is a misconception that we just pull random crap out of thin air.
I may not have a degree or a job, but I have a happy, welcoming home that I work hard to run. It was a choice my husband and I made together, and he is extremely supportive. The only push back I have ever gotten has been from outsiders, telling me the kids would be better off in school, and that I should be working and bringing in income. It’s none of their business, of course, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t hurtful, or that their words don’t have a lasting impact on my mind.
I might run in fourteen different directions at any given moment, but I’m creative. I’ll take that over a streamlined thought process any day.
I may not be losing ten pounds a week like everyone on my feed right now, but I consistently stick to a workout routine that works for me, and that’s better than nothing.
I make mistakes. I sometimes make the wrong choice. I fail. Doesn’t everybody? No, not by looking at social media.
Anyway, if you feel bad about yourself today, please know you aren’t alone, and you are good enough, and someone else’s life path does not have to be yours. Cheer them on silently (or vocally!) when they succeed, but don’t let that make you feel less than. I have a bad habit of being simultaneously happy for people, while also thinking, “Dang, I should be doing MORE!” and then getting overwhelmed because there are only a set amount of hours in a day. It’s not jealousy, it’s inadequacy.
I can’t do it all, and that’s okay. Right now, I’m happy with what I can do, and when the kids are grown, I can bring in that extra income, and get that degree, and become that rocking hot bodied trophy wife everyone else is becoming.
Remind yourself that your best effort is good enough, often. And contrary to what the popular toxic positivity world would want you to believe, it’s okay to have a day where you feel crappy. Let yourself feel your emotions. Just don’t pitch a tent and live there.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take my fat, no degree having, homeschool mom, messy base board having, unsocialized rear end out to the pool where I can be lazy, and not generate a lick of income while I soak up some vitamin D and watch my kids play. And, maybe, by the end of the day, I’ll produce something others can call “enough”.